The Big Life Starts From A Little Life!

Kicking off my birthday month with a sad book. Do not ask me why. I stumbled across this book on Instagram and I’ve added to my reading list almost immediately. Expect a lot of crying or weeping half way through the book because it is going to be that dark and disturbing but you will definitely fall in love with the beautiful writing in it. A modern-day classic that will take over your reality even after you finish reading the book. Social media had warned me and I think it is only appropriate if I do the same to you. Read at your own risk and beware of the unsettling roller-coaster ride of emotions ahead of you.

“An elegant mind wants elegant endings.“

*Hanya Yanagihara*

The author, Hanya Yanagihara dwells on the gap between dreams and reality, while emphasizing on how the big life you wanted starts from the little life that you make. We are at the age of anxiety where everyone seems to be dealing with their own things in life silently. This book would be a perfect read if you are curious to find out how these characters deal with cutting, binging, drugs and even childhood sexual abuse. Let’s get into the summary of the book so you can have some sort of idea about what I’m talking about.

A stunning “portrait of the enduring grace of friendship” (NPR) about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. A masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century.

A Little Life follows four college classmates—broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition—as they move to New York in search of fame and fortune. While their relationships, which are tinged by addiction, success, and pride, deepen over the decades, the men are held together by their devotion to the brilliant, enigmatic Jude, a man scarred by an unspeakable childhood trauma. A hymn to brotherly bonds and a masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century, Hanya Yanagihara’s stunning novel is about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves.

A few more reasons on why I picked this book.

NATIONAL BESTSELLER

NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST

MAN BOOKER PRIZE FINALIST

WINNER OF THE KIRKUS PRIZE

ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: The New York Times • The Washington Post • The Wall Street Journal • NPR • Vanity Fair • Vogue • Minneapolis Star Tribune • St. Louis Post-Dispatch • The Guardian • O, The Oprah Magazine • Slate • Newsday • Buzzfeed • The Economist • Newsweek • People • Kansas City Star • Shelf Awareness • Time Out New York • Huffington Post • Book Riot • Refinery29 • Bookpage • Publishers Weekly • Kirkus

The book is published in 2015 with over 800 pages. Despite the length and the difficult subject matter, it became a critically acclaimed bestseller with 89% of likes on Google. I was falling back into regrets when I started reading this book but the curiosity kept me up all the way through. I finished this book in 28 days (not by choice) because I wanted to read a chapter at least so I can keep up with the story everyday. It was that good and equally painful but it was all worth it in the end. Now, let’s look at the things that strengthens this book.

1. Friendship.

“You won’t understand what I mean now, but someday you will: the only trick of friendship, I think, is to find people who are better than you are-not smarter, not cooler, but kinder, and more generous, and more forgiving-and then to appreciate them for what they can teach you, and to try to listen to them when they tell you something about yourself, no matter how bad-or good-it might be, and to trust them, which is the hardest thing of all. But the best, as well.”

A strong bond of friendship were beautifully depicted among JB, Malcom, Jude and Willem. A love-hate relationship that goes through a lot of trials and tribulations over the years but somehow survived them all. Jude, in particular, has a deep dark secret that he’s been keeping away from everyone. Even though they knew Jude has something to hide, they don’t push him or force him to talk about it but instead, they are there when he needs them. That is the beauty in friendship afterall, isn’t it?

2. Abuse.

“The first time Caleb hit him, he was both surprised and not.“

Jude has been abused when he was a child and when he was with an abusive partner, he felt like he deserved it and it’s normal. Clearly, he had been used to it. Jude thinks it is harder to walk away and he is someone that could save him. It is really sad that a good attorney like Jude could actually feel this way. He is so strong and powerful in the court room but he was battling with himself not knowing how to remove himself out of the tight knot.

3. Suicidal thoughts.

“The past few days have been very difficult, some of the most difficult he can remember, so difficult that one night he even called Andy after their midnight check-in, and when Andy offered to meet him at a diner at two a.m., he accepted the offer and went, desperate to get himself out of the apfirartment, which suddenly seemed full of irresistible temptations: razors, of course, but also knives and scissors and matches, and staircases to throw himself down.“

Jude had been taught to cut and he’s been cutting ever since. When he is trying to distract from it, he cleans the house. He would scrub the tiles and cleans the bathroom. Sometimes baking helps. He would stay up all night baking so he won’t think of cutting. When he fails, he cuts himself over and over again. Jude was dealing with grief, loneliness, depression and childhood abuse as well. It didn’t stop him from trying to kill himself twice.

4. New family structure.

“So I hope you won’t think this is too-presumptuous, I suppose-but we’ve been wondering if you might consider letting us, well, adopt you.“

It is quite uncommon for a couple to even consider adopting a thirty years old grown man to inherit their wealth. Harold and Julia lost their only son few years back and they’ve grown into Jude. More like a son and they also enjoy the company of all his friends. A new family structure like this is quite bizarre. However, I did like the whole idea of it knowing the fact that Jude had a horrible childhood that he can’t never get rid of. But the new family helped him tremendously.

5. Just life.

“As he gets older, he is given, increasingly, to thinking of his life as a series of retrospectives, assessing each season as it passes as if it’s a vintage of wine, dividing years he’s just lived into historical eras: The Ambitious Years. The Insecure Years. The Glory Years. The Delusional Years. The Hopeful Years.“

Just like Jude, I am sure that we look back at our own life and think to ourselves, have we ever done anything right or differently than we could? Some years can be good and some years can be extremely awful that you wish you could just delete them off your memories. In the end of the day, your big life depends on the little life that you build for yourself. It is solely on you on how you want it to be.

Have you read this book? What do you think? I can’t wait to share all the details about the new book I’m currently reading.